God's will. Surrender. Taking up our cross.

I've given God permission to do whatever He wants in my life and I will always love Him.

Life has been so difficult with mental illness and so many disappointments and trials. But for some reason this causes me to feel I'm living His will. He is letting this happen. I'm learning and growing more spiritually than I would have any other way.

I don't like it. It all seems strange. But we can't try to intellectually understand God and how He works. Although I don't feel a warm, mushy love for Him I suppose I am loving Him by not giving up and doing all I can to get to know Him better.

Luke 9:23
Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Job 9:12
If he snatches away, who can stop him?
Who can say to him, 'What are you doing?'

Romans 11:33-36
33Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
35"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"
36For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.